“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness

It took me years to understand that this too is a gift”

Tears and Blood

I feel them merge and swirl beneath the surface of my faux-hardened face

They bubble to the layer right at the top, impendent to overflow and spill

maybe even to plunge me in its plethoric depth

It is like not wanting to hurt while wading through a lumbering stream of daggers

My skin left bare to bear each quick cut

Oh wait! That’s what this is

Watching you sleep so soundly while a whirlpool of your words churn and surge

Fighting my eyelids and willing them to stay up

Remembering your words and that I am determined to beat them

That I need to prove that I am not what you say that I am

I am dogged to show you the finesse and poise which you claim you do not see

To sit here till my knees scream from being tightly pressed together, thigh squished against thigh

To sit here with my back arched, stretched side by side with the lines of this high backed chair

Eyes glaring at the distant wall to show you that I am not lazy, that I do not sleep as much as you say that I do

To put my hands, one on top of the other, displaying my delicatesse

I will not shuffle when my hair falls across my face

I will stiffen my neck to avoid the drowsiness that I feel

Because your words, your accusations have become my directives

I will be nothing like what you say I am

I will show you.