I Shouldn’t Have

I shouldn’t have let him

advance into my room, into me

from friend, to roommate, to lover

Now one thing must lead to another

excited conversations of the eyes

have been replaced by intense groping and sweaty grabs

now he more than talks to me

he mumbles his words with his lips pressed against mine

all meshy and moist, sometimes cold, other times feverishly hot

and if he eats that damn garlic pasta

I’d have to wash it out of my own mouth

 

I shouldn’t have let him

around, in here, on me

from “hey” to “hi” to “come back please”

I used to walk out the door and not give a damn

now I have to think, I have to wonder

where does he go each night after work?

why can I smell his skin on my sheets?

now I’d cry if he’s been gone too long

waiting for him to come back and cuddle me to sleep

and if I miss dinner,

I know someone else will take care of it

 

I know I shouldn’t have

Let him surround me

ask me where I’m going today

tell me my skirt is too short

command me to lay on the couch and watch tv

but I also know what I shouldn’t have done

I shouldn’t have liked him back.

 

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